Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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