I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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