he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
