The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize