loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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