Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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