Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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