i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
