I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
