i can't believe i had my finger in that
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
A bitchslap is in order.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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