capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
