We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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