I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
