did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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