He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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