So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sarcasm needs its own font
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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