she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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