I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just want to make out with him forever
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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