There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
