First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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