Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
