so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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