I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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