Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
