I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
