you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
