Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And then he peed in my hair
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