Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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