Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
