GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
