Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
