i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
