I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
