Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
