why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
