At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
