Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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