If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we're making bets on your personal life
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Everclear isn't food dammit
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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