Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
