Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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