Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
