Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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