that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
stop calling my apartment porn island.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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