You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
