I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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