I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize