At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
