I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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