my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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