i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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