I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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