How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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