i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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