he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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