I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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