I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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