I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i dont even know how to be here
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
