I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The adults are the big ones right?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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