i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
home. puking in laundry basket.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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