she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
