At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
