Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
