I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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