it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
