Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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