Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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