Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
