The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
